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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Daily Reading - "Jesus...Asked, 'Are You Also Going To Leave?" Jn 6:67 NLT

Here is how it read today.

Tues. Nov 10

"JESUS...ASKED, 'ARE YOU ALSO GOING TO LEAVE?"

Handling Abandonment (2)

When you are face abandonment, your greatest enemy is your own anxiety! It pushes you into all the wrong reactions. Learn to manage it or it'll bring about your worst fears. Here are some guidelines to help you: (1) Stay out of the "pursuer" role. Most relationships have a "pursuer" and a "distancer." When we feel vulnerable we fall into whichever role is characteristic and act it out. When one distances, the other pursues, and vice versa. The problem is: when you pursue a distancer and they get anxious, distancing more, it increases your anxiety and pushes you to pursue more - the vicious cycle. Though it will feel unnatural, by faith, decide to stop pursuing. You'll decrease the distancer's anxiety and invited them to stop distancing. Letting go is frightening and feels as though it might encourage them to leave. It won't necessarily, but holding on will. Managing your anxiety calls on you to do what you fear, but it will reduce the anxiety level!
(2) Control your anxiety-inducing self-talk. "As he thinks...so is he" (Pr 23:7 NKJV). Your anxiety is being caused by your thoughts and self-talk, not your partner or circumstances. Saying, "Oh, I'll die if he (or she) leaves me," generates and magnifies your fear. Construct a helpful self-talk list. "If he leaves, it'll hurt, but with the help of God and my family, I'll get through it." Factor God in; He's the changer of hearts and minds. Lean on Him and He will lessen your anxiety and increase your peace and confidence.

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