Where I'm At...

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, So luv the ppl who treat u right, pray for the ones who dont & believe that eveything happens for a reason!!!!"

Got that from my man feets who hoopin over seas doin his thing.

So if you keep up with this blog which correlates with my life, it should be apparent that I'm a but emotional now and days for one specific reason. So here I am, single once again, not really having committed any wrong doing, jus not enough good doing. I truly believe everything happens for a reason so of course the hurt is for a reason and to be honest I welcome it. It shows me that yes, I have loved deeply an intimately even if the love wasn't fully reciprocated or fabricated, on my end it was real, true and deep. Problem with all of this, it's very hard to shake it. Am I really suppose to just move on from a feeling that was obviously true to me? Am I suppose to give up on that feeling? Am I suppose to abandon it for my own welfare? If love is God and vicer versa, am I suppose to do all those things to Him?

Apparently this is what everything inside me is telling me to do. From my readings, to simple common sense to the random coincidences of random thoughts and opinions from others not even aware of the situation, everything says, "Focus On Paul." Well if Paul has always been defined as "Focus on Love," I guess I have to simply focus on truly and intametly learning how to Love Myself. Problem is, I do love myself and to do anything different from what I've done to me seems selfish, and this is something I lack. The ability to truly be selfish, I just wasn't bread that way. At the end of the day, I know, feelings are feelings, they come and they go, but at the end of the day, when you truly love someone, they never go fully, they will always have a part of you. Let's just say, there are a lot of parts of me out there and I'm stretching thin. So I'm praying for the Lord to give me the strength, awareness, ability, and proper instructions as to the procedures and path I should take towards properly Loving myself and not being too selfish as well as living by His word. I know and believe that with God anything is possible so I will not ever worry, only anticipate patiently his blessing.