The Start of Something Big (cont)

School starts, life is crazy, temptations run crazy, and I give in to pretty much everything bad at the end of the day. Now I'm pretty much just taking classes, playing sports, having fun being young and being the cool guy to hang out with. Can't really remember praying being a part of my life or any conversations with God at all. Reading my Bible came to a halt. Other females that I normally had a relationship with fell aside and new ones arose that proved to be mostly empty at the end of the day. My ex was still with me but still not serious and we had MANY problems to say the least. She eventually moved out and had her own share of problems compounded on the ones we had together. My business was basically under the ground. I didn't give up on it, but I definitely wasn't moving at the pace I wanted to move at.
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Looking back, I didn't thank God openly once for one, having a ridiculously nice house, bringing my ex back to me and giving us another shot, just the everyday blessings, nothing period. I simply didn't openly acknowledge his blessings at all. Once again, I see that this was the start of a bad thing. I wasn't living by his word nor setting any kind of a good example of the actions of a God fearing man. While life for me was really fun, that's all it produce at the end of the day. While fun is fantastic, that's not all life is about. I wanted so much more out of life, but at the end of the day, the main thing I was consistently achieving was fun. By the time the holidays rolled around, things were flat out strange to say the least. My ex was out, our relationship was very weird, and I knew things weren't as they seemed. I was completely done with school, and work became comfortable, and that was the most scariest part of this whole saga.
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The next semester, no more classes, my relationship with my ex was really uncomfortable, my business was on life-support, and still, I'm not really needing anything. I still had a nice house, had food to eat even though it probably wasn't what I always wanted, and I had my job that proved to stay stable. Still didn't openly show or give thanks, nor prayed, nor was really living the right way. So life would eventually get worst. Heat went out a numerous amount of times, we had to pay for it repeatedly, and eventually it got to a point where we couldn't afford to refill it. so the reason I remember that it snowed in late April early May is because we still needed heat in our house because it was flat out freezing in there. Towards the end of the school year, my ex and I were like shells of our old relationship. Now I can only speak on my half, but, I truly did love her, but that year exposed me to a side of her that didn't impress me to make me want to take it to another level. I gave her the benefit of the doubt of her being depressed and having her own problems, but at the end of the day, life goes on, and she just wasn't doing what she needed to do on her part to be considered to be taken more seriously.

May came, and everything broke down. We had to be out of our house because the home owner sold it without giving us 1st opportunity to buy. Still God worked it out so that I at the time had two places, I had one on hold that I would have let my ex move in to, and I had one that I was moving into. I didn't want to make anymore decisions for my ex or have any influence on her decisions anymore, so I didn't give her my opinions on what I think she should do until the last minute. By this time she had a number of problems and I had my opinions on how she could handle them, but it was pointless to express them if she didn't come up with them or believe them. So as time was coming to an end, and she refused to come up with a solution, I suggested going home. I still had the place on hold but I didn't tell her. I wanted to see if she was willing to truly struggle. At this point she had a job, and would have possibly had to hock it up at a friends and of course stay with me for a while until she worked up enough money to rent her own place. She eventually choose to go home, and that soon followed with her telling me weeks later that she doesn't think she could talk to me anymore. Said I hurt her too much, and a lot of other stuff. Needless to say I was very hurt to say the least, and this put me in a depression I've never been in. This would be a very enlightening summer that I never saw coming.

To be con't...